Maddog raised the bar early this morning when he, along with his friends, partied like it’s 19-90-no. Our team has been working overtime in order to bring you the latest on this shocking discovery.
At 2 AM, Maddog (aka MaddogFuckedYourMom), was seen taking hits of crack in the Kageshi Lobby.
This was a surprise to the majority of the witnesses, as most of them merely referred to him as a crackhead and not actually believing he was , in real life, well, a crackhead. KLNews was able to obtain the following interview conducted through a PM (Private Message). None of what you are about to read has been altered or edited in any way.
KLNews: I’m wanting to conduct an interview with you for the Kageshi Lobby News. Do I have your permission to add this conversation to it?
MaddogFuckedYourMom: sure why rhe fick not..
KLNews: Thank you. How long have you and your friends been smoking tonight?
MaddogFuckedYourMom: 3 hrs
KLNews: Are you still smoking a rock of crack?
KLNews: Where’s your pipe?
MaddogFuckedYourMom: smoking eith people
KLNews: Can I see it?
[At this point, Maddog shows a tire gauge that has been customized to smoke a rock of crack.]
KLNews: Are you OK?
MaddogFuckedYourMom: still smoking
KLNews: And how much did you spend? Did anything end up in a pawn shop?
MaddogFuckedYourMom: nothing and no
KLNews: You’re smoking free crack? Is that why they call it freebasing?
MaddogFuckedYourMom: i found my ex fucking my friend tonight
MaddogFuckedYourMom: now i smkke xrack
MaddogFuckedYourMom: went to another friends place
MaddogFuckedYourMom: he rolled a blunt
MaddogFuckedYourMom: woth crack in it
MaddogFuckedYourMom: found out after
MaddogFuckedYourMom: so now i smoke crack
KLNews: This is one of the most fucked up things I ever pretended to give a shit about.
MaddogFuckedYourMom: i smoke crack. sut mig.
Maddog’s last stunt was letting someone shave a reverse-mohawk on top of his head, destroying what once was a semi-decent-still-laughable haircut. Hulk Hogan would’ve been proud. Maddog’s hair was shaved using a disposable razor and shaving cream. This took an extremely long time; if his friend was just a tad bit smarter, he would’ve used the clippers first. Maybe that’s why it was so entertaining. I really need my ass kicked.
Our team is digging through thousands of maddog memes to find the pics and vids. We’ll keep you updated on this investigation as it unfolds. In the meantime, check out this great list of;
THINGS TO DO OTHER THAN SMOKING CRACK:
- Get a reverse mohawk.
- Spray paint “HOMEWRECKER” on some random garage door.
- Join a gang.
- Walk around in circles while wearing a blindfold.
- Fill a shot glass with hot sauce and put your dick in it.
- Prank call your ex.
- Write a poem about writing poems.
- Convince someone that your cat has Parkinson’s disease.