A KLN 1-ON-1 WITH: CROP

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Welcome to another exciting 1-on-1and this time with crop!
I had been wanting to do this interview for a few days now, and luckily both of us were online at the same time. What you’re about to experience is a Q & A session with one of the most random users on Kageshi. Most of you know him from his visits to various rooms, his professionally designed profile, which by the way, is literally art in its highest form, and his overall ability to breathe life into an exhausted conversation.

I don’t remember when I met crop, or what we talked about, but I do know this:
1: I probably banned him permanently from the room at one time.
2: We most likely discussed Maddog or Prestige Worldwide.

Get yourself situated, because the good shit starts now. Ladies and Gentletrolls, I present to you…

A KLN 1-ON-1 WITH: CROP!

Kageshi Lobby News: Before we start, do I have your permission to include the following interview on KLN?
crop: Yeah.
crop: I need a pic of me in a suit.
KLN: You do. Do you have one?
crop: Yeah. {laughs}
KLN: Is it really you, though?
crop: I’ll take one, I mean.
crop: I have a suit. {laughs}
crop: Prestige worldwide!
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[Editor’s note: A.D.D. – 1 / KLN – 0]
KLN: Yes, indeed. Let’s get right to it. You’re one of the more popular users on Kageshi. Is there a method to your madness?
crop: I just try to be as far from myself as possible. People mistake me for trolling, but I just say what’s on my mind.
KLN: Have you ever been site banned? And if so, for what?
crop: I’m nervous…
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crop: Yes, I have been site banned for depicting bestiality in my early Kageshi days, honest mistake, we all have done it.
KLN: That’s surprising to know, and no we have not all done it. Next question, have you ever been kicked or banned from a room for not getting on cam?
crop: Yeah, The Crossroads, Goonroom, and Smokeyys Room.
KLN: Let’s pretend the owners of those rooms are reading this. What would you say to them?
crop: Sith, open bobs please!
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[Editor’s note: A.D.D. – 2 / KLN – 0]
KLN: The rooms that you’ve been banned from…
crop: Oh, my bad. I got distracted for a second. I would say, “Drewseph-Stalin88, I am not a square-headed faggot, I just have nice bone structure”.
KLN: Has he seen you on cam?
crop: Yes, he has.
KLN: And how about the other rooms, what message does crop have for them?
crop: Well, I would tell Smokeyy that I’m really here for the gang bang this time and I’m not cleaning up. I’m not sure what I would tell 009 and jacque  I would most likely propose a make out session between the 3 of us, IRL.
KLN: Nice. Maybe after reading this, they’ll grant access to you once again. Tell me, what is crop’s favorite type of music?
crop: I am heavy into the grunge scene from the 90’s. Something about OD’ing on drugs or blasting your brains out has attracted me to that genre in particular.
KLN: Crop, I’m listening to Nirvana right now while I’m conducting this interview. Are you a wizard?
crop: I’m just a man.
KLN: A man with a plan. Crop, what is the one thing that bothers you most about the world?
crop: Well, the way we are divided as people. If we all just gravitated towards one another with the same motives and goals I think there would be a lot more orgies.
KLN: Crop, did you vote in the recent election?
crop: No, I did not.

I Voted Stickers
KLN: Who would win a fight between El-Vato and Pliquezilla420?
crop: I’m pretty sure Plique,would devour El-vato. But you can’t judge a book by its cover. For all I know, El-Vato has 12-inch dong … he seems the type to have one honestly.
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KLN
: What’s your favorite movie?
crop: Ace Ventura, I can recite the whole movie from beginning to end.
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KLN
: Have you ever been to jail?
crop: Yes, I have been to LA County jail. Let’s just say I had 1 felony and 6 misdemeanors in one shot.
KLN: Wow. If you don’t mind me asking, what the fuck did you do?
crop: Well, it was for a DWI which is driving while intoxicated, which is different from driving under the influence of alcohol.
KLN: What does crop drink?
crop: I have not been much of a drinker. But, if I were to say what my drink is: Captain and Coke. It’s just not fair how easy it is to put down.
KLN: Who’s the best admin on Kageshi?
crop: There’s not much to choose from so I would say, zOmbie.
crop: OMG, a puppy!
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[Editor’s note: A.D.D. – 3 / KLN – 0]
KLN
: Speaking of zOmbie; you frequent the 30’s room a lot, correct?
crop: Yeah, for some reason I’m a mod.
KLN: They modded you?!
crop: Yeah, zOmbie said I need to control my sheep. I have no idea what he meant by that, but that’s what I been doing ever since.
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KLN: Fair enough. Now, as a mod in the 30’s room, can you please explain why 90% of their users are almost 50?
crop: Honestly, my biggest phobia is growing up and being old. Nobody wants to do that. I make sure to give them their glory and pretend they look 30.
KLN: That must be quite difficult. Crop, if you were given the opportunity to do so, what would you do to the site (Kageshi) to improve it?
crop: I would definitely bring nudity back. Bobs are among my favorite things on the internet. Why would they take that from us?
KLN: I can hear the cheering from perverts all over the world. Crop, do you think the admins fuck with us on guest names?
crop: I am pretty sure that they don’t. They seem to be the model Kageshi user. #crop4admin2017.
KLN: Make Kageshi Great Again?
crop: Yes, I would definitely site ban El-Vato and bring back nudity.
KLN: This could be a thing. I could see you running for admin. Other than bringing back nudity, what else would you offer the people of Kageshi?
crop: As messed up as a human being people take me for, I would probably really enforce the rules legitimately . People call me out for “trolling”, but I don’t take personal shots at people. I have a good time, tastefully, in my opinion. Wouldn’t you say so?
KLN: I would have to agree. Why do you think people refer to you as a troll?
crop: #vote4crop
crop: I think for my sly remarks … that they didn’t come up with them first.
untitled-31KLN: Cats or Dogs?
crop: DOGS! I love dogs more than people.
KLN: Doritos: Nacho Cheese or Cool Ranch?
crop: Cool Ranch. I actually miss that flavor. Who knows why they discontinued that flavor. Salsa Verde would be my favorite if given the option.
KLN: Crop, there are literally bags upon bags of those (Cool Ranch Doritos) at the store right now.
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crop: Seriously? I usually buy the knock off brand of Goldfish if I’m going to eat a snack. They are penguins, though, not goldfish.
KLN: Cheddar penguins?
crop: Yes.
screenshot_2KLN: Have you ever been in a fight in real life?
crop: Yeah some cholo slapped me in the face, I then knocked him out with one punch yup yup [sic] he had a knuckle sandwich for lunch.
KLN: Are you a virgin?
crop: Yes.
KLN: How often do you masturbate?
crop: When you’re a chronic masturbator you come to a fork in the road. How can I be more productive in my masturbation activities? So instead, I Jelq [A form of penis enlargement] about 14 hours a day.
KLN: I hate myself for asking that question. I really do.
crop: You asked for an honest interview…
KLN: I did.
KLN: Coke or Pepsi?
crop: Coke.
KLN: Have you ever e-dated someone?
crop: No, I have not.
KLN: Would you?
crop: If Dev wasn’t such a whore, yes, I would.
KLN: Dev’s in Russia. Would you consider going there one day?
crop: Definitely. I hear great things about their economy.
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KLN: Do you think Russia had anything to do with the US election?
crop: I’m not too sure about politics. All I know is, they are a bunch of lying sacks of shit.
KLN: Do you think Trump is going to make America great again?
crop: I am a spiritual creature. I don’t think man can fix man’s problems. Especially one that rides the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] express and participate in [EXPLETIVE DELETED].
KLN: What’s the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
crop: In high school, I had to poop really bad and I had an accident in my pants … the log literally fell out my pant leg and lots of people knew.
KLN: That’s one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever read.
crop: In fact, the next day at school people were congregated around the log to give me a reminder … as if I maybe forgot [that] I shit my pants the previous day.
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KLN: Describe the perfect date. And keep in mind, your future girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband may be reading this.
crop: I have actually experienced the perfect date. I was with the most gorgeous girl, walking the boardwalk, and we ate a nice restaurant. I would probably replay that date without the blatant boner [sic] pointing out of my pants as we walked back to the car.
KLN: How old are you?
crop: An immature 29.
KLN: Would you date a transgender person?
crop: No, I would not, based on experiences I have had with 2 of them.
KLN: How many shots of liquor does it take to get you to pass out while driving?
crop: Not that many – maybe like 6 or 7. It’s more fun to be consciously drunk and aware that you are driving.
KLN: If you could get away with anything on the site and not be banned, what would you do?
crop: I’d probably helicopter my dick while jump roping.
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KLN: What’s the most fucked up thing you’ve seen someone do on cam?
crop: I saw a guy stick a screwdriver down his dick hole. But, it’s a toss-up between a guy smoking meth in his undies and wearing a tool belt, farting and shitting his undies, while he violently stroked his big wiener.
KLN: Other than being a huge part of the Kageshi family, do you have any hobbies? If so, what are they?
crop: I play guitar and bass. I also enjoy my work as a carpenter and I involve myself in many trades.
KLN: Do you shave your nuts?
crop: Yes, I certainly do.
KLN: Finish the following sentence: My name is crop and if you fuck with me, I’m going to
crop: Strap C4 to my chest and pencil dive down your chimney.
KLN: What’s your least favorite holiday?
crop: I don’t celebrate holidays, due to my religious beliefs.
crop: I don’t celebrate pagan holidays.
KLN: Do you believe in God?
crop: I most certainly do.
KLN: Do you believe in Lucifer, Son of the morning, Beelzebub, the devil, the deuce, the Great Deceiver, the Father of Lies, the Prince of Darkness, Old Mr. Grim, Old Ned, Old Nick, Old Sam, Old Scratch, the Old One, Old Rip, Old Poker, Old Splitfoot, the black spy, the gentleman in black, El Diablo, bogey, The omnipotent highness Satan?
crop: I believe he is real , but I don’t worship him or believe in him as a ruler. He’s kind of a dick.
KLN: There’s someone breaking into your house right now. The object to your right is your weapon. What is it?
crop: I have a fiberglass axe handle that I can swing pretty well.
KLN: Is it next to you though?
crop: Yes, and it has almost seen action. That lucky son of a bitch.
KLN: Are you in the early stages of being a serial killer?
crop: My mother thinks so, but no, I am not. I’ve grown past the early stages.
KLN: OK, we’re going to wrap this up, I just have a couple of more questions. This interview will be read by a lot of people. Is there anyone you’d like to say hello to?
crop: I’d like to give a shout-out to my homie, Maddog. PRESTIGE WORLDWIDE!
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KLN: And for the last question: Is it OK with you if I hook up with your mom?
crop: Yes, just don’t hook up with my Dad. He’s not gay.
KLN: FML.
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And there you have it, peeps. Another addition to the KLN archives. I want to thank crop for letting this interview happen. I had a great time throwing questions at him. Is there someone on Kageshi that you think should be in the spotlight too? Well, drop me a PM in the lobby  and I’ll try to make that happen!

One more thing:
DJ Hi-crop will fuck you in the ass, you punk ass white boy.

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