A TOXIC KLN 1-ON-1

DECEMBER 2, 2016, by Sith Lord
       w/ the usual antics of myke

Welcome to another KLN interview, this time with none other than Toxic! KLN’s newest member, Sith Lord, is the one that conducted this interview and we think it’s a great way to get her right in the mix of things. You’ll see plenty more interviews and other various forms of input from Sith, but for now – check out what she brought to the table…

2If it happens, it’s here.


Before we begin, do I have your permission to post the following interview on KLN?

Toxic: Of course.

Wonderful! Please try to answer these questions the best you can. If you were a pizza delivery man, how would you benefit from scissors?

Toxic: When customers bitch about their pizza not being cut properly, you know, the ones who check the fucking box right in front of you, you can just slice that shit up right in front of them! Or you know, escaping ropes from people who kidnap pizza delivery guys.

[Laughs] What?

Toxic: Shit happens man, you wouldn’t believe it.

Good answer … good answer indeed. On to the next question. Do you believe in Big Foot?

Toxic: Seeing is believing unless you account for my late grandmother. That could be Bigfoot.

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God damn [Laughs]. Who is your favorite person (or people) on Kageshi?

Toxic: Now, that’s a tough one, we are all cunts in our own way, I suppose. Honestly, I’d say myke and a few old users from Shitty Chat, who I can’t remember because I’m too drunk to do so. Basically, anyone who has a sarcastic sense of humor without going overboard is alright by me.

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I appreciate your honesty, thank you! What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen on Kageshi?

Toxic: A user named Whit, who begged attention from me in sexual ways, and when I showed that I didn’t give a shit, she would freak the fuck out on me and insult me to high hell. Oh, and – this screenshot of a chat I had with Dankies.


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Image protected by mykelokz Patent Pending

Good grief Charlie Brown! What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you?

Toxic: One time in college I was playing beer pong, and I accidentally missed and hit a guy with the ping-pong ball. He got fucking PISSED, ran into my roommate’s room and punched a fucking hole in the wall. This guy dashed out of the apartment and we couldn’t find him for hours! His girlfriend was his only ride and she left his ass. It was a long night, but, goddamn…all because of a ping pong ball my roommate had to fix a goddamn hole punched through drywall. I figured he didn’t like me too much – never got a reason.

If you saw him again, would you throw another ping-pong ball at him?

Toxic: Out of spite? No. To see what happens? Fuck yeah!

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[Laughs] I love it. What is your favorite and least favorite thing about Kageshi?

Toxic: My favorite thing [about Kageshi] is seeing random people from around the globe come together and be infectious tumors in one place – that’s awesome. I hate that there are some serious cliques, though … lots of unnecessary drama that really just shouldn’t exist.

I completely agree, this place has its moments of autism. A question I am personally interested in, what is your favorite cookie?

Toxic: It’s a tie between, White Chocolate Macadamia and those ghetto-ass Christmas cookies that you’d get as a kid to shut you the fuck up. You know the ones, sugar cookies with Christmas shit printed on them.

I wish someone would shut me up with cookies. Anyways, if you could permanently ban  someone from Kageshi, who would it be?

Toxic: [Pauses] I’d say Dankies. That guy’s a psychopath.

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Really? I’ve never spoken with him before.

Toxic: Just stay online early in the morning in the Arcanine room. Make sure to bring some popcorn to enjoy his autistic bouts.

[Laughs] Will do! If you were stranded on an island, what three things would you bring?

Toxic: [Pauses] How big is the island?

Small, with fresh water, decent supply of food (if you know what to do) yet terrible weather.

Toxic: Fuck yeah. I’ll take a solar panel, my phone with all of my current music, and a Bluetooth speaker. Gotta have them tunes so you don’t lose your shit.

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A real survivalist right here! [Laughs] On a serious note, what inspires you?

Toxic: People who have their worlds torn from their hands and they still have the drive to get up in the morning. A little edgy I know, but goddamn that is strength.

It’s funny you mentioned that. I recently did a psychology article summary on the pursuit of happiness. I really like your response to that question. If you were an admin, what changes would you make to Kageshi?

Toxic: Well, I don’t know what the bounds of power are in that regard, but I’d probably get rid of the option to room ban yourself. Oh, and I’d also expand on the customization of your profile and rooms.

Oh my gosh, yes! We are so limited (code-wise) with customizing our profiles. #ToxicForAdmin

Toxic: Hell yeah, motherfucker.

What’s your favorite 90’s jam?

Toxic: Pearl Jam for sure. As far as early 2000’s go, Télépopmusik, check that shit out.

[Editor’s note: At this point in the interview, Sith asked myke (in a PM) if he had any questions for Toxic. To let you know which questions myke asked, we’ll paste these little clips from the PM.]

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How often do you masturbate?

Toxic: [Pauses] Once a day. On the rare occasion that my job fucks me more than I could fuck myself, I don’t.

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Do you believe in Satan?

Toxic: Eh, Not really. I can’t prove or disprove his existence, so I guess I’m an agnostic in the whole “belief system.”

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What is the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone?

Toxic: I’m not a very vindictive person, so nothing really that interesting. But, one time at my work (AT&T), a customer insulted me for about an hour, so when he left, I made his rate plan bump from 3 gigabytes of data to 300 gigabytes – about a 500 dollar increase. I never dealt with the aftermath because I transferred stores a week later. The max a store can credit an account is $200. So, either way, he got fucked.

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[Pauses] The Dark Side welcomes you, Toxic.

Toxic: Hell yeah.

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Why does the room you’re in look like the purple palace of pervdom?

Toxic: An old store I worked at gave me the “Open” sign above their front door. It makes a damn bright night-light. And c’mon, purple is dope.

It sure is. [Laughs]

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Who would win in a fight between belial420 and sinhalese?

Toxic: I’d choose belial420. Unlike sinhalese, belial420 actually gets to a level of drunkness [where] he would never feel the punches. And come on … sinhalese would just cry in a corner at any sight of physical confrontation.

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I agree, belial420 would knock the training bra off of sinhalese. [Laughs] To wrap this up, what would you like to say to the people reading this interview?

Toxic: Thanks for wasting your time reading pixels on a screen, shit’s cash yo. And, as always, don’t do school and stay in drugs!

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Toxic, thank you for doing this interview with me. I, along with the Kageshi community appreciate it as well! It’s is a real treat getting to know you better!

Toxic: Anytime.


And there you have it folks! I think Sith did a fantastic job with her first KLN interview. Shit, it’s not easy dealing with the amount of autism that we deal with on a daily basis in the Kageshi Lobby as it is. Thankfully Toxic doesn’t fall into that category. He’s a great guy, and as a supermod in the lobby – we don’t have to work as hard to keep things in order. That’s why we value people like him in our lives, however possible. Toxic is a vital part of Kageshi.com and you can find out even more about him by visiting the Kageshi Lobby or if you’d like, feel free to leave a comment for Toxic at the bottom of this page.

Again, thank you Sith. I’m proud of you and I’m looking forward to seeing what else you come up with. You’re an outstanding room owner, but most of all, you’re a great friend. I hope we can still laugh at the world 40 years from now.

I’m certain we will…

…what else are we going to do online, learn shit?

2

It happened, and it’s here.

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