It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.



First Command Unit • Publishing • Sidewinder
Keep myke from burning the place down.
Likes: Steve Jobs, Tripping Hipsters, Mullets
Dislikes: Steve Jobs, Hipping Tripsters, Mullets
I can write a book about how I saved the world.


Singer-songwriter • Dictator • Wordsmith
That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spotlight…
I’m the kind of guy that will actually meet your mom.
Advice: The hot water is usually on the left.
Music: Fair To Midland, Duran Duran, Ghost 


Systems analyst • Head of Security • Peacekeeper
When I’m not rounding up tryhards and slackjaws, I can be found watering plants and feeding birds.
The keyboard is mightier than the sword.
Silence is mandatory.


Public Relations • Jawbreaker • Weapons Analysis
Likes: Nothing, No one, Not you
Dislikes: I really can’t stand those assholes that live next door to me
Music: Rage Against The Machine

Cobalt Blue

Media Clearance • KLN Intel • Mortician
Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there
I’ll tell you how you can shut the fuck up.


Field Reporter • Transgender Bop Gun • Elite
I spend a lot of time watching the enemy.
Likes: Colloidal Silver, Warm blankets, Sex
Dislikes: Gamers, Liars, Dirty old men
I can take things apart and put them back together.